I haven't painted in at least a year. Or, well... six months if you count the painting of the art that is now my tattoo.
Also, one person in the entire world believes that I can be butch. Which is related to this because I? Am rocking the paint-covered overalls and flannel shirt look tonight. TOTALLY BUTCH. I swear. STOP LAUGHING. I'm tough and arty, dammit.
Everywhere I go, there's no line and people are smiling. Work was totally chill (if sadly lacking in Dickensian prose). There was no one in the Taco Bell (hangover food, though I'm not exactly hung over) drive-thru at lunch! In Short Pump! I got into and out of a Lowe's filled with happy people in about 3 minutes. An entire line of people patiently waited for me when I got the wrong thank you card for my colleague and had to go pick out another. I just happened to have cash on hand as I was driving down Broad St by VCU, so I got to stop at Aladdin (which was emitting the yummiest smell ever). They tried to get me to stay, and when I didn't, they gave me free cake.
And, guess what?! To the Earth will be TWO next Monday! We're a toddler.
And you know what? I don't know. Nor do I even remember what it was like to have a plan, to be a long-term-planning kinda person. This is really odd for me. A lot of you haven't known me since my deeply planful days, but some of you can remember.
So I wonder about y'all.
Poll #955225
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Did you have a vision of how your life would be when you were a kid?
yes, it was clear in every way
8 (21.6%)
i had a career i really wanted 8 (21.6%)
i had a personal life i really wanted 7 (18.9%)
i wanted a lot of things, all different, or it changed a lot 21 (56.8%)
no, or i don't remember 4 (10.8%)
Does your life now resemble what you imagined?
freakishly so 5 (13.9%)
my career is like i imagined 2 (5.6%)
my personal life is like i imagined 1 (2.8%)
well, i'm not a lion-training firefighter who dances in the ballet, lives in the congo, has purple ponies, and lives in a shack, a mansion, and a condo in miami... so, no? 25 (69.4%)
did i mention not remembering? 5 (13.9%)
If 1 is SO VERY NOT and 7 is YES TOTALLY, how much of a life plan did you have 5-10 years ago?
Mean: 4.27 Median: 4 Std. Dev 1.80
| 1 | 2 (5.4%) |
| 2 | 6 (16.2%) |
| 3 | 5 (13.5%) |
| 4 | 6 (16.2%) |
| 5 | 9 (24.3%) |
| 6 | 3 (8.1%) |
| 7 | 6 (16.2%) |
And on that same scale, how much does your life now resemble that plan?
Mean: 3.22 Median: 3 Std. Dev 1.77
| 1 | 7 (19.4%) |
| 2 | 7 (19.4%) |
| 3 | 8 (22.2%) |
| 4 | 6 (16.7%) |
| 5 | 4 (11.1%) |
| 6 | 1 (2.8%) |
| 7 | 3 (8.3%) |
So, how do you feel about that?
i let my younger self(ves) down 5 (13.5%)
i may have made some decisions i wish i hadn't 8 (21.6%)
my younger self(ves) didn't have a clue 17 (45.9%)
i'm totally thrilled 6 (16.2%)
my younger self(ves) was (were) totally psychic 2 (5.4%)
i wonder what those other lives might have been like 11 (29.7%)
i'd like to (or am trying to) be more like i imagined 10 (27.0%)
i'm surprised by how my life ended up 15 (40.5%)
my feelings on this subject are too complex to summarize in 255 characters, no matter how many checkyboxes you give me 20 (54.1%)
1 still being SO VERY NOT and 7 still being SO TOTALLY, how much do you have a plan or vision for the next 5, 10 or 20 years?
Mean: 4.00 Median: 4 Std. Dev 1.52
| 1 | 4 (10.8%) |
| 2 | 4 (10.8%) |
| 3 | 2 (5.4%) |
| 4 | 9 (24.3%) |
| 5 | 15 (40.5%) |
| 6 | 2 (5.4%) |
| 7 | 1 (2.7%) |
Bonus question... what do you want to do when you grow up?
This is, for me, the magic of singleness. I don't know if I was too young, too afraid, too dead or what - but I really didn't get this idea of love, especially not in the little ways people change you. And now I'm all adobe car, bumped and reshaped by the people and things that I run into. I probably was before, too - just didn't know enough to be glad of it.
I can't really put into words why I'm still so much more absorbed by the events of Pennsic than by the events of my life here now this week, but it's there somewhere in a sense of love/loved from the soles of my feet to somewhere just beyond my head.
And this weekend, when I made my spreadsheet and realized oh shit, I really do want to move, I had
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cutegaychick to drive me around the city and remind me that I had peeps. Plus, arovd made me a hotdog with chips on it!And today,
snidegrrl has posted a series of illuminated mix tape covers by me, ca. 1988. Awwww. Thanks, kids.
